Aug 302010
 

A 98-year old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered
around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried
giving her some warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and remembering a
bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she
opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother
drank a little then a little more. Before they knew it she had drank
the whole glass down to the last drop.

Continue reading »

Aug 292010
 

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse.

His buddy asks, ‘How will I recognize him?’

‘That’s easy; he’s a dwarf with a speech impediment.’

So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse.

‘A female horth.’

Continue reading »

Aug 262010
 

Some new golf terms to use when you’re out on the course…

A ‘Rock Hudson’ – a putt that looked straight, but wasn’t.

A ‘Saddam Hussein’ – from one bunker into another.

A ‘Yasser Arafat’ – butt ugly and in the sand.

A ‘John Kennedy Jr.’ – didn’t quite make it over the water.

Continue reading »

Aug 232010
 

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.” The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!” The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to”. The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.” So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. ” The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.” So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please read the rest of the joke.
Continue reading »