Tag Archives: Nancy Pelosi

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"

So the Pope backhanded the bitch .

New golf terms this season

Some new golf terms to use when you’re out on the course…

A ‘Rock Hudson’ – a putt that looked straight, but wasn’t.

A ‘Saddam Hussein’ – from one bunker into another.

A ‘Yasser Arafat’ – butt ugly and in the sand.

A ‘John Kennedy Jr.’ – didn’t quite make it over the water.

A ‘Rodney King’ – over-clubbed.

An ‘O.J.’- got away with one.

A ‘Princess Grace’ – should have used a driver.

A ‘Princess Di’ – shouldn’t have used the driver.

A ‘Condom’ – safe, but didn’t feel very good.

A ‘Brazilian’ – shaved the hole.

A ‘Rush Limbaugh’ – a little to the right.

A ‘Nancy Pelosi’ – Way to the left and out of bounds.

A ‘James Joyce’ – a putt that’s impossible to read.

A ‘Ted Kennedy’ – goes in the water and jumps out.

A ‘Pee Wee Herman’ – too much wrist.

A ‘Sonny Bono’ – straight into the trees.

A ‘Paris Hilton’ – a very expensive hole.

A ‘Tiger Woods’ – wrong hole.

Barack’s Bullshit Bingo

Just print out this page, distribute it to friends, and listen…
(be sure to read directions at the bottom.)



Rules for Bullshit Bingo:

  1. Before Barrack Obama’s next televised speech, print your “Bullshit Bingo”
  2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
  3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout “BULLSHIT,” (or shout out “PELOSI,” – it means the same thing).

Top Ten Signs Nancy Pelosi is Getting Cocky

  • 10. Greets every Republican with “Sup, loser”
  • 9. This summer, plans to take a George W. Bush 5-week vacation
  • 8. Called Treasury Department asking, “Who do I have to talk to get on the nickel?”
  • 7. Attended health care bill signing in old sweatpants and a pair of Uggs
  • 6. Changed her name to Oprah Pelosi
  • 5. Took a gavel to Mitt Romney’s hair
  • 4. Thinks under her tutelage, she can turn Tim Tebow into an NFL quarterback
  • 3. Ends every disagreement with, “If you’re so smart, how come you’re not Speaker of the House”?
  • 2. Referred to John McCain as “the distinguished jackass from Arizona”
  • 1. Seen exchanging sexy texts with Tiger Woods
  • Thank you to TheJoker for sending this to me.

    Bad Obama jokes

    The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.

    We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.

    **********************

    America needs Obamacare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

    **********************

    Q: Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?
    A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

    **********************

    Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
    A: A fund raiser.

    **********************

    Q: What’s the difference between Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
    A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
    The other is for housing prisoners.

    **********************

    If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and It
    started to sink, who would be saved? …. America !

    **********************

    Q: What’s the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
    A: Bo has papers.