So Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty.
As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, “No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I’ve been in a brothel.”
The second barber turned to Barack and said, “How about you, Mr. Obama?” Barack replied, “Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn’t know what the inside of a brothel smells like.”
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”
Continue reading A cowboy named Bud
A born salesman Ole, the smoothest-talking Norske in the Minnesota National Guard, got called up to active duty.
Ole’s first assignment was in a military induction center. Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI life insurance, to which they were entitled.
The officer in charge soon noticed that Ole was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge.
The officer decided he’d sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Ole’s sales pitch. Ole stood up before the latest group of inductees and said,
“If you haf da normal GI insurans an’ yoo go to Afghanistan an’ get yourself kilt, da governmen’ pays yer beneficiary $20,000. If yoo take out da supplemental insurans, vich cost you only t’irty dollars a munt , den da governmen’ got ta pay yer beneficiary $200,000!” Continue reading A born salesman
I was eating breakfast with my 6-year-old granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?”
She said “It’s President’s Day!”
Continue reading Hot coffee hurts
Brilliant in its simplicity…
- Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.
- Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
- Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.
Continue reading A better Republican strategy
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very
attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all
of his clothes off.
When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table.
The man obeys.
Continue reading The difference between ObamaCare and Blue Cross