One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, "I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week." The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you , I’m doing community service this week." The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Continue reading »

Popularity: 2% [?]

The Governor of New York is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.  A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor, and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi", then realizes he should stop, the coyote is only doing what’s natural.
2. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for disease.
4. The Governor goes to a hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for disease from the coyote and for getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail is shut down for 6 months, while Fish & Game conducts their $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor next spends $150,000 in state funds, implementing a "Coyote Awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease, throughout the world.
8. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not somehow stopping the attack and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of New York : $175,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: The Nature of Coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files suit against the state.

—————————————
Governor Brewer of Arizona is jogging, with her dog, along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.

Continue reading »

Popularity: 1% [?]

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, it doesn’t matter to me. I just love it."

Continue reading »

Popularity: 1% [?]

Here is what Obama needs set up to talk to a few school children.  Not much room for kids.  Still needs to have the teleprompters. The Secret Service guy in back keeps eyes out for any terrorist-type-8-year-old with tea-partying parents.

Continue reading »

Popularity: 1% [?]

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Continue reading »

Popularity: 4% [?]

I found this image at http://i.imgur.com/ou2G2.jpg

Popularity: 18% [?]

Mexico doesn’t have a summer Olympic team, because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already across the border.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Just in case you haven’t seen all of the presidents in one photo collage.

Historical Keepsake Photo:

Continue reading »

Popularity: 3% [?]

I was eating lunch with my 12  year old grandson a month or so ago when his mom asked him, "What is tomorrow?" 

He said, "It’s President’s Day"

She asked, "What does that mean?"

…. I was waiting for something profound…

He said, "President’s Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."

Continue reading »

Popularity: 2% [?]

A woman, married three times, walked into a bridal shop and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

"Of  course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "Exactly what style and color are you looking for?"

The bride to be said:  "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

Continue reading »

Popularity: 3% [?]