Tag Archives: speech impediment

The Horth Whithperer

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse.

His buddy asks, ‘How will I recognize him?’

‘That’s easy; he’s a dwarf with a speech impediment.’

So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse.

‘A female horth.’

So he shows him a prized filly.

‘Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?’

So the guy picks up the dwarf and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over.

‘Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?’

So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears.

‘Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf?’

The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse’s mouth.

‘Nice mouf, can I see her twat?’

Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the dwarf’s head up the horse’s fanny, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.

‘Perhapth I should rephrase that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?’

Jokes to offend everyone

Q. What’s the Cuban National Anthem?

A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A. A different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?

A. Sum Ting Wong.

Q. What do you call an Italian that has one arm shorter than the other?

A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren’t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?

A. Because they’re not going to work in the future either.

Q. Why do Driver’s Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Monday, Wednesday and Friday?

A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What’s the difference between a northern zoo and a southern zoo?

A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the “F” word?

A. Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell “BINGO”.

Q. What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A. A northern fairytale begins: “Once upon a time …. ” A southern fairytale begins: “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this ….”

Q. Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?

A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.