Jan 172014
 

A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he’d buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation.

The man there said, “Well, I don’t know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except……. the Magic Penis!”

The husband said, “The……..what”?

The salesman repeated, “The Magic Penis,” and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.

The husband laughed, and said, “It looks like an ordinary dildo!”

The man then pointed to the door and said, ” Magic Penis, door!”

The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the middle.

Then the salesman said, “Magic Penis, return to box!” and the penis stopped and returned to the box.

The husband bought it and took it home to his wife and explained how to use it.

After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said “Magic Penis, my crotch.” The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible.

After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she’d had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital.

On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink.

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Mar 202011
 

Bill worked in a pickle factory.

He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.  He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.  He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

‘What’s wrong, Bill?’ she asked.

‘Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?’

‘Oh, Bill, you didn’t’ she exclaimed.

‘Yes, I did.’ he replied.

‘My God, Bill, what happened?’

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Jan 032011
 

Dear Osama Bin Laden,

Marco…

Sincerely, United States.


Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely, 1985.


Dear Voldemort,

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson.

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Jan 012011
 

The new year always brings many resolutions. Many of these resolutions include more exercise and losing weight. If this is your goal, hopefully the following information will assist you.

 

The Act of Insertion

If the man is ready (same vice-versa)

1/4 calories

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Oct 022010
 

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, ‘Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.’

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
‘Gee, Mom,’ he exclaimed. ‘For me?’

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