Oct 112013
 

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy replies, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

Sep 152010
 

Three Canadian blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented.

The first blonde said, “Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey.”

St. Peter said, “No,” and he banished her to Hell.

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Jul 102010
 

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda’s eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.

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Apr 202010
 

During a company’s recent password audit, it was found that a
blonde employee was using the following password:

“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento”

When
asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to
be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Apr 122010
 

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”

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Mar 042010
 

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino.
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros
on a single roll of the dice.

She said, ‘I hope you don’t mind,
but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude’.
With that, she stripped from the neck down,
rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled,
‘Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!’

As the dice came to a stop,
she jumped up and down and squealed…
‘YES! YES! I WON, I WON!’

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