The Governor of New York is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor, and attacks his dog.
- The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi", then realizes he should stop, the coyote is only doing what’s natural.
- He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
- He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for disease.
- The Governor goes to a hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for disease from the coyote and for getting his bite wound bandaged.
- The running trail is shut down for 6 months, while Fish & Game conducts their $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
- The Governor next spends $150,000 in state funds, implementing a "Coyote Awareness" program for residents of the area.
- The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease, throughout the world.
- The Governor’s security agent is fired for not somehow stopping the attack and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
- Additional cost to State of New York : $175,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: The Nature of Coyotes.
- PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files suit against the state.
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Governor Brewer of Arizona is jogging, with her dog, along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
- The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow-point cartridge.
- Arizona buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why New York is broke!
