Feb 142012
 

An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat  next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, ‘Is your date running late?’

‘No’, he replies, ‘I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.’

The intrigued woman says, ‘A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?’

The Aussie explains, ‘It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.’

The lady says, ‘What’s it telling you now?’

Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.’

 

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Jan 292011
 

Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1961 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2011 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1961 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2011 – Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario:
Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1961 – Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2011 – Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

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Jan 012011
 

The new year always brings many resolutions. Many of these resolutions include more exercise and losing weight. If this is your goal, hopefully the following information will assist you.

 

The Act of Insertion

If the man is ready (same vice-versa)

1/4 calories

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Nov 122010
 

Can you imagine this guy going 90 mph on his way to Dallas with these balloons trailing a few yards behind him?

Instructions for a fun time on the interstate……………

Step 1. Tie balloons to car.
Step 2. Drive Fast
Step 3. Watch people freak out