20 THINGS I TRUST MORE THAN HILLARY CLINTON

 Celebrity, Irony, Politics, Sarcasm  No Responses »
Sep 212015
 
  1. Mexican tap water
  2. A porcupine with a “pet me” sign
  3. Bill Clinton, with my teenage daughter
  4. A fart while fighting the flu
  5. An elevator ride with Ray Rice
  6. Taking pills or a drink offered by Bill Cosby
  7. A Bigfoot sighting
  8. A Hillary Clinton war story reported by Brian Williams
  9. Gas station sushi
  10. Jimmy Carter, with the economy or military strategy
  11. A Palestinian on a motorcycle
  12. Pete Carroll coaching decisions
  13. Eating an apple from an orchard at Fukushima reactor #4
  14. Hitching a ride from a guy in a goalie mask
  15. The ingredients in a hotdog
  16. Nancy Pelosi’s grip on reality
  17. Black Ice
  18. Jerry Sandusky as a Boy Scout leader
  19. Alien abduction stories
  20. Barney Frank in the shower asking you to pick up the bar of soap
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A ride in a taxi

 Family, Mother / Mother-in-law, Quickie, Sarcasm  No Responses »
Sep 132015
 

A woman and her twelve-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.

“Mom,” said the boy, “what are all those women doing?”

“They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work,” she replied.

The taxi driver turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.”

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Being green – is it a new thing or an old thing?

 Quickie, Sarcasm  No Responses »
Feb 182014
 

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days.”

The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”

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DEMENTIA QUIZ

 Sarcasm  No Responses »
Jan 102013
 

FIRST QUESTION:

YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON, WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?

 

 

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ANSWER : IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST,
THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE!

TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
NOW ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION,
BUT DON’T TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS
YOU TOOK FOR THE FIRST QUESTION, OK?

 

 

SECOND QUESTION:
IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE….?
(SCROLL DOWN)

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU ARE…..

WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??
YOU’RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, ARE YOU?
THIRD QUESTION:
VERY TRICKY ARITHMETIC! NOTE:
THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY.
DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR.
TRY IT.

 

TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 NOW ADD 30.
ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 .. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000.
NOW ADD 10.. WHAT IS THE TOTAL?
SCROLL DOWN FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER…..

 

 

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