I was eating lunch with my 12 year old grandson a month or so ago when his mom asked him, "What is tomorrow?"
He said, "It’s President’s Day"
She asked, "What does that mean?"
…. I was waiting for something profound…
He said, "President’s Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."
I almost snorted my iced tea .
A woman, married three times, walked into a bridal shop and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.
"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "Exactly what style and color are you looking for?"
The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don’t take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time – for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"
"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."
"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.
"He was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."
A Wall Street banker, corporate CEO, tea partier, and Wisconsin public school teacher are sitting at a table in a restaurant. A waiter brings a plate with a dozen cookies and sets it in the center of the table. The Wall Street banker grabs 6 cookies. The corporate CEO grabs the other 6 cookies. Then they turn to the tea partier and say, “Are you going to let that greedy teacher take your crumbs?”
A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee outside an Arizona immigration office.
"Good man," the fairy said, "I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and eight children."
The man told the fairy, "Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."
The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and — PING !– he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!
"What else?" asked the fairy, "Two more to go."
The refugee claimant now got bolder. "I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country.. I want to bring them all over here" — and — PING !– in the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.
"One more wish", said the fairy, waving her wand.
"Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this sombrero. And I want to have white skin like Americans" —and — PING ! — The man was transformed – wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
"What happened to my new teeth?" He wailed, "Where is my new house?"
The fairy said:
"Tough shit, Amigo, Now that you are a White American, you have to fend for yourself."
I realize that this is more scary or frustrating than it is funny but it seems to fit a politically incorrect site.
Now that I think about it, there is nothing funny about this video.
Obama has now appointed a Golf Czar. Announcements were just made of major rule changes in the game of golf which will become effective March 2011. This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being rewritten as we speak. Here are a few basic changes:
These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf. Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with Ability
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"
Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"
So the Pope backhanded the bitch .
I was laughing the whole time I felt sorry for the poor owner of this van. Can you imagine talking to your insurance agent after the snow melted!
How sad….
Remember when Ronald Reagan was president?
At that time, we also had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
Now, we have Obama and no hope and no cash.
