Mar 232011
 

I was eating lunch with my 12  year old grandson a month or so ago when his mom asked him, "What is tomorrow?" 

He said, "It’s President’s Day"

She asked, "What does that mean?"

…. I was waiting for something profound…

He said, "President’s Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."

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Feb 262011
 

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee outside an  Arizona immigration office.

"Good man," the fairy said, "I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the  United States with your wife and eight children."

The man told the fairy,  "Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."

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Jan 032011
 

Dear Osama Bin Laden,

Marco…

Sincerely, United States.


Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely, 1985.


Dear Voldemort,

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson.

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Jul 092010
 

Students at a local high school were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by former President Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: Cost – $29.99
Clinton: Cost – $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist
Clinton: Bill is a BS artist
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