Tag Archives: President
Presidential candidates fight about bombing Iran
All the Presidents in one photo
Just in case you haven’t seen all of the presidents in one photo collage.
Historical Keepsake Photo:
I know you laughed, even if you won’t admit it.
Is President’s Day the same as Groundhog’s Day?
I was eating lunch with my 12 year old grandson a month or so ago when his mom asked him, "What is tomorrow?"
He said, "It’s President’s Day"
She asked, "What does that mean?"
…. I was waiting for something profound…
He said, "President’s Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."
I almost snorted my iced tea .
3 wishes for an illegal alien
A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee outside an Arizona immigration office.
"Good man," the fairy said, "I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and eight children."
The man told the fairy, "Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."
The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and — PING !– he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!
"What else?" asked the fairy, "Two more to go."
The refugee claimant now got bolder. "I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country.. I want to bring them all over here" — and — PING !– in the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.
"One more wish", said the fairy, waving her wand.
"Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this sombrero. And I want to have white skin like Americans" —and — PING ! — The man was transformed – wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
"What happened to my new teeth?" He wailed, "Where is my new house?"
The fairy said:
"Tough shit, Amigo, Now that you are a White American, you have to fend for yourself."
Dear Blank, please blank
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco…
Sincerely, United States.
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely, 1985.
Dear Voldemort,
So they screwed up your nose too?
Sincerely, Michael Jackson.
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic.
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic.
Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, "I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…" just saying…
Sincerely, Google.
Dear High School Boys,
Your penis is not like Pinocchio’s nose – it doesn’t get longer every time you lie about its size.
Sincerely, Reality.
Dear Dumbasses,
Please pull your damn pants up. This style should have died when it started in 1993. Get a job too.
Sincerely, Taxpayer tired of supporting you and your stupid 5 illegitimate children.
I found these at dearblankpleaseblank.com. There are many more so check it out!
Clinton v. Titanic
Students at a local high school were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by former President Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His professor gave him an A+ for this report:
Titanic: Cost – $29.99
Clinton: Cost – $29.99Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to readTitanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastropheTitanic: Jack is a starving artist
Clinton: Bill is a BS artist
Continue reading Clinton v. Titanic
Go ahead and fire me!
Barack Obama bumper stickers
As with any President, the fake bumper stickers complain about what is done or not done. This is a small sampling of fake bumper stickers.