Tag Archives: Democrat

No beer for Republicans

A labor union rep walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama’s victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Repeal ObamaCare button and two beers in front of him.

He doesn’t have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican.”

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, “Thank you!” in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the union rep.

The union rep once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The union man once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The union man asks the bartender, “What the hell is the matter with that Republican? I’ve ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly ass does is smile and thanks me. Is he nuts?”

“Nope,” replies the bartender. “He owns this place.”

Fourth marriage is the charm

A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day
and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her
fourth wedding.

“Of course, madam,” replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color
dress are you looking for?”

The bride to be said, “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, “Please don’t take this the
wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for
brides who are being married the first time – for those who are a bit more
innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?”

“Well,” replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness, “I
can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or
not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we
were checking into our honey moon hotel. My second husband and I got into
such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we
had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.”
“What about your third husband?” asked the sales clerk.

“That one was a Democrat,” said the woman, “and every night for four years,
he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be,
but nothing ever happened.”

Still a virgin after all these years

A woman, married three times, walked into a bridal shop and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

"Of  course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "Exactly what style and color are you looking for?"

The bride to be said:  "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don’t take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time – for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"

"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first time bride.

You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"He was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.


You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you…

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What would you do?


Democrat’s Answer:

  • Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
  • Does the man look poor or oppressed?
  • Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
  • Could we run away?
  • What does my wife think?
  • What about the kids?
  • Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
  • What does the law say about this situation?
  • Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
  • Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
  • Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
  • Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
  • If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
  • Should I call 9-1-1?
  • Why is this street so deserted?
  • We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
  • Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
  • I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
  • This is all so confusing!

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!


Southerner’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click….. (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click

Daughter:Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

Son:Can I shoot the next one?!

Wife:You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!’

Woman shot in the head

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda’s eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.

Linda is blonde, a Democrat and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.

Top Ten Signs Nancy Pelosi is Getting Cocky

  • 10. Greets every Republican with “Sup, loser”
  • 9. This summer, plans to take a George W. Bush 5-week vacation
  • 8. Called Treasury Department asking, “Who do I have to talk to get on the nickel?”
  • 7. Attended health care bill signing in old sweatpants and a pair of Uggs
  • 6. Changed her name to Oprah Pelosi
  • 5. Took a gavel to Mitt Romney’s hair
  • 4. Thinks under her tutelage, she can turn Tim Tebow into an NFL quarterback
  • 3. Ends every disagreement with, “If you’re so smart, how come you’re not Speaker of the House”?
  • 2. Referred to John McCain as “the distinguished jackass from Arizona”
  • 1. Seen exchanging sexy texts with Tiger Woods
  • Thank you to TheJoker for sending this to me.

    Montana Bear Tragedy

    This is a very sad story about a bear.  Everybody should heed the warning to not feed wildlife because they become dependent and cannot forage for themselves anymore.
     
    This is such a tragedy to see what they have done to our country’s wildlife!  

    The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect  US wildlife  . . . .
     
     
       
    Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democrat Party….. as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

    This photo is of a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed . .. .

    Bearack Obearma.