A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee outside an Arizona immigration office.
"Good man," the fairy said, "I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and eight children."
The man told the fairy, "Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."
A Chicago family of pro football supporters head out one Saturday to do their Christmas shopping. While in the sports store, the son picks up a Green Bay Packers #12 jersey and says to his older sister, “I’ve decided to become a Packer fan and I would like this for Christmas.” His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him on the head and says, “Go talk with mom.”
Off goes the little lad with the Green Bay Packer jersey in hand and finds his mother. “Mom?” “Yes, son?” “I’ve decided I’m going to be a Packer fan, and I would like this Aaron Rodger’s jersey for Christmas.” The mother is outraged, promptly whacks him on the head and says, “Go see your father.”
Let’s put the seniors in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
In South Los Angeles , a 4-plex was destroyed by a fire.
A Nigerian family of six con artists lived on the first floor, and all six died in the fire. An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats, all illegally in the country from Kenya , lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire. 6 LA, Hispanic, Gang Banger, ex-cons, lived on the 3rd floor and they, too, died. A lone, white couple lived on the top floor… The couple survived the fire.
Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew into LA and met with the fire chief, on camera.
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you…
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
Poor kid is going to go his whole life with people making fun of this picture and the wet spot on his crotch. Not only will his brother and the rest of his extended family make fun of him but so will the entire Internet.
Of course, the brother is not without shame here – I know porn queens that won’t spread their legs that far!
Also, I really hope that this was taken at a wedding and Mom was a bridesmaid – that dress is a one-use dress (I think I am safe – note the gifts in the background)!