Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
All posts by admin
If cartoons were more like real life
Cracked.com recently did a series comparing cartoons to real-life. Here are my favorites but click through and see all 18. Not sure why they didn’t do 20 – what is magical about 18?
#18
Apple app used to sue the world for patent infringement
The news of Apple suing HTC for patent infringement have the blogs buzzing with sarcasm. In that vein, I offer two hilarious posts. Enjoy!
Presenting the iPatent. (Shout out to Drippler for this image)
Also, announced on DevTopics is Apple’s latest suit (presumably decided by the above iPatent app):
Apple Inc. has filed a federal lawsuit against “the world” for violating its U.S. Patent 3,141,5926 “Removing a Booger by Performing Gestures with a Finger.” Apple is demanding licensing royalties from all world citizens who pick their nose, and a cease & desist order against Kleenex tissues for providing citizens with an alternate method to jailbreak boogers and avoid Apple’s patent.
Read the rest of DevTopic article here. Be prepared to laugh (or cry).
AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO
An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino.
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros
on a single roll of the dice.
She said, ‘I hope you don’t mind,
but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude’.
With that, she stripped from the neck down,
rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled,
‘Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!’
As the dice came to a stop,
she jumped up and down and squealed…
‘YES! YES! I WON, I WON!’
She hugged each of the dealers
and then picked up her winnings
and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, ‘What did she roll?’
The other answered, ‘I don’t know – I thought you were watching.’
MORAL OF THE STORY –
Not all Irish are drunks,
Not all blondes are dumb,
but all men…..are men.
Facebook bloopers
Positive proof of global warming
Shout out to Timm for sending this to me!
Stupid Barack Obama joke
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she was finished, the devil informs her that cost is 6 million dollars, so, Queen Elizabeth writes him a check.
Finally, George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he was finished, the devil informed him that there would be no charge for the call and feel free to call the USA anytime.
When Putin hears this, he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA free. The devil replied, “Since Obama became the president of the USA ,the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”
The Day ObamaCare died
This parody of American Pie sung by Barack Obama is quite hilarious!
The Day ObamaCare Died – American Pie Parody
Bad Obama jokes
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
**********************
America needs Obamacare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
**********************
Q: Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
**********************
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
**********************
Q: What’s the difference between Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
**********************
If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and It
started to sink, who would be saved? …. America !
**********************
Q: What’s the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
EVER WONDER ……
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
**************
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
**************
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
**************
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
**************
Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
**************
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
**************
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
**************
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
**************
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
**************
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
**************
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
**************
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
**************
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
**************
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
**************
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
**************
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?