Tag Archives: Barack Obama

Politics, Sarcasm

Two pictures–what an ego

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Here is what Obama needs set up to talk to a few school children.  Not much room for kids.  Still needs to have the teleprompters. The Secret Service guy in back keeps eyes out for any terrorist-type-8-year-old with tea-partying parents.

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Here’s what the last guy needed…

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Of course, it could be because the children with President Bush are actually smarter than the ones with President Obama.

Family, Politics, Quickie

Is President’s Day the same as Groundhog’s Day?

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I was eating lunch with my 12  year old grandson a month or so ago when his mom asked him, "What is tomorrow?" 

He said, "It’s President’s Day"

She asked, "What does that mean?"

…. I was waiting for something profound…

He said, "President’s Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."

I almost snorted my iced tea .

Ethnic, Politics, Quickie

3 wishes for an illegal alien

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A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee outside an  Arizona immigration office.

"Good man," the fairy said, "I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the  United States with your wife and eight children."

The man told the fairy,  "Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."

The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and — PING !– he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

"What else?" asked the fairy, "Two more to go."

The refugee claimant now got bolder.  "I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country..  I want to bring them all over here" — and — PING !– in the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.

"One more wish", said the fairy, waving her wand.

"Yes, one more wish.  I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this sombrero.  And I want to have white skin like Americans" —and — PING ! — The man was transformed – wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap.  He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.

"What happened to my new teeth?"  He wailed, "Where is my new house?"

The fairy said:

"Tough shit, Amigo, Now that you are a White American, you have to fend for yourself."

Politics, Sports

Obama’s new appointment

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Obama has now appointed a Golf Czar. Announcements were just made of major rule changes in the game of golf which will become effective March 2011. This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being rewritten as we speak. Here are a few basic changes:

  • Golfers with handicaps:
    • below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
    • between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
    • above 18 will get a $25 check each time they play.
  • The dollar amount placed in bets will be as follows:
    • for handicaps below 10, an additional $10.
    • between 11 and 18, no additional amount.
    • above 18, you will receive the total amount in the pot even if you do not play.
  • The term "gimme" will be changed to "entitlement." These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring. They will be used as follows:
    • handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
    • handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
    • handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
  • In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par,can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again.
  • The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes but the term ‘net score’ will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above. This is intended to ‘redistribute’ the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only ‘net score’ against every other player’s gross score.

 

These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf. Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with Ability