Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day.
‘Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint, and we’re Jewish,’ she asks, ‘Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?
Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says: ‘No, I don’t think God would get mad.. Whom do you want to give a Valentine to?’
‘Osama Bin Laden,’ she says. Continue reading Kind little girl
The older we get the more important it is to incorporate exercise into our daily routine. This is necessary to maintain cardiovascular health and maintain muscle mass.
If you’re over 40, you might want to take it easy at first, then do more repetitions as you become more proficient and build stamina.
Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program! Continue reading Exercise for People over 40
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told me….’
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
Q: Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
A: It’s called a Wedding Cake.
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
Gary Coleman, former child star, has died at the age of 42. Doctors blame his death on complications from different strokes
Gary Coleman wastes no time getting up there to the Pearly Gates to meet St. Peter.
When he arrives St. Peter frowns and says, “well Gary there may be a few things here that we gotta have a little talk about first!”
Gary Coleman frowns and says, “What choo talkin’ bout Peter!”
Gary Coleman arrived at the pearly gates and he wasn’t let in right away. This wasn’t the first time little Gary was stuck behind bars.
An old man takes his grandson fishing one afternoon. After 15 minutes of fishing, ol’ grandpa takes out his flask of whiskey and starts drinking. His grandson asks, “Can I have some, Grandpa?”
“Can your dick touch your ass?” he replies.
“No.”
“Then you’re not old enough, sit down.”
Another 15 minutes pass and grandpa takes out his Camel and starts to puff away. His grandson asks “Can I have some of that, gramps?”
“Can your dick touch your ass?”
“No.”
“Then you’re not old enough, sit down.” Continue reading Grandpa and grandson go fishing
Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected
A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. After they finish having sex, they cuddle for a few moments when the phone rings. Since they are in the woman’s house, she picks up the phone. Her lover watches and listens, hearing only her side of the conversation.
Speaking in a cheery voice, the woman says: “Hello? … Oh, hi… I’m so glad that you called… Really? That’s wonderful… I am so happy for you… That sounds terrific… Thanks… OK, goodbye, Dear.” Continue reading Husband has gone fishing
How do YOU pronounce Oklahoma?
Knowing how fond you are of the written word and correct pronunciation: I thought you should be aware of this.
There is a right way and a wrong way to pronounce Oklahoma
The Proper Way is:
OKLA…HOMA
(There’s a pause (gap) between the ‘a’ and the ‘h’.)
I can prove it…………………………………………
There, you learned something today !!
I do love these educational websites………….Don’t you ????
It’s a very dull day when you don’t learn a single thing. I’m so glad I was able to help!
Do you feel better?