Teacher: Where is your homework?
Boy: I ripped it up and spread it across the playground.
Boy: To keep away the elephants.
Teacher: What elephants?
Boy: See, it worked!
Daughter : ” Hey Mom. Me and my boyfriend are just going to my room. ”
Mom : ” OK. Don’t do anything stupid ”
Mom hears her daughter screaming ”BAABBY BAABBY BAABBYY OOHHHH” !!
Mom rushes up stairs
Mom : ”What are you doing !!?!??!!”
Daughter : ”Get out mom, we are having sex!!.”
Mom : ”OHH!! Thank God! I thought you were listening to Justin Bieber.”
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Sincerely, United States.
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
So they screwed up your nose too?
Sincerely, Michael Jackson.
Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?
A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What’s a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q What’s the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What’s the definition of ‘Macho’?
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office.. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
An old man takes his grandson fishing one afternoon. After 15 minutes of fishing, ol’ grandpa takes out his flask of whiskey and starts drinking. His grandson asks, “Can I have some, Grandpa?”
“Can your dick touch your ass?” he replies.
“Then you’re not old enough, sit down.”
Another 15 minutes pass and grandpa takes out his Camel and starts to puff away. His grandson asks “Can I have some of that, gramps?”
“Can your dick touch your ass?”
“Then you’re not old enough, sit down.” Continue reading Grandpa and grandson go fishing