An old man takes his grandson fishing one afternoon. After 15 minutes of fishing, ol’ grandpa takes out his flask of whiskey and starts drinking. His grandson asks, “Can I have some, Grandpa?”

“Can your dick touch your ass?” he replies.

“No.”

“Then you’re not old enough, sit down.”

Another 15 minutes pass and grandpa takes out his Camel and starts to puff away. His grandson asks “Can I have some of that, gramps?”

“Can your dick touch your ass?”

“No.”

“Then you’re not old enough, sit down.”

Feeling bad the little boy sits down and starts to eat some chocolate chip cookies that he brought along. Grandpa sees these cookies and asks, “Can I have a cookie?”

“Can your dick touch your ass?”

“Yeah.”

“Then go screw yourself, cause grandma made these for me.”