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Going green in Washington DC
Going Green in Washington, D.C.
Finally, a green plan we can all get behind…..
Excel based NCAA Div. 1 Men’s Basketball Tournament Brackets with drop-downs
Check out this great NCAA Division 1 Men’s basketball tournament brackets document. If you are like me, you put your picks into several pools. I used to use one of the brackets that is posted on a sports site or in the newspaper but this one absolutely rocks. When you pick the winner of a game, that winner is available in a drop-down menu for the next game. No more mistakes or having people tell me they can’t read my writing! This document has made it a lot easier for us to manage the NCAA tournament games. Perhaps more people should consider using it. One of my friends said that his office uses this document to track the NCAA progress. As they often place bets on the winners, it’s ideal for them to use. His office is really into NCAA basketball. Some of the employees even got ncaa flags made to make sure they can show their support for their favorite team. That’s a good idea.
If you follow the NCAA this closely, you might also want to look at this document. You can download the Excel document at I Think Therefore I Rant. I checked it out and it is virus free according to my virus checker. It doesn’t use any macros so it is safe.
You could even tell all your office co-workers for the office pool. It is awesome. Hopefully, your favorite team will win the tournament games.
Montana Bear Tragedy
This is a very sad story about a bear. Everybody should heed the warning to not feed wildlife because they become dependent and cannot forage for themselves anymore.
This is such a tragedy to see what they have done to our country’s wildlife!
The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect US wildlife . . . .
Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democrat Party….. as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.
This photo is of a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed . .. .
Bearack Obearma.
You know your from Manitoba, Canada, when….
1. You only know three spices – salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
8. You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
11. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.
12. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
13. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
14. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
15. You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
16. You head south to go to your cottage.
17. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won’t prowl on your deck.
18. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
19. The major parish fund-raiser isn’t bingo – it’s sausage making.
20. You find -40C a little chilly.
21. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
22. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.
23. You can play road hockey on skates.
24. You know 4 seasons – Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
25. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
(This was originally found on Aha! Jokes)
This could be embarrassing
Image found at EatLiver.com.
Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn’t want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman’s husband phones the other husband and said, “These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties.” “That’s nothing,” said the other. “Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, ‘From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!’
(This joke was originally found at CoolFunnyJokes.com)
Uninvited Guest
A nice, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from
his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well cared for.
He calmly walked over to greet me. I gave him a few pats on his
head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall,
curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later he awoke
refreshed, went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day my new furry friend was back, greeted me in my yard,
walked inside, lay down on his spot in the hall and slept again for
about an hour. This continued off and on for many days.
Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “I would like to find out who
is the owner of this wonderful sweet dog and ask if you are aware that
almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.”
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to
his collar: “’He lives in a home with six children — two under the age
of 3 — and he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him
tomorrow?”
I got it in the can
This is a hilarious ad for a beer!
Information for Northerners Visiting the Southern States
If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the south, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in life styles:
1. If you run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in a four-wheel-drive pickup truck with a 12-pack of beer and a towchain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. They have the stuff under their truck bed cover for these exact incidents.
2. Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store.
3. Remember: “Y’all” is singular, “All y’all” is plural, and “All y’alls'” is plural possessive.
4. Get used to hearing “You ain’t from around here, are ya?”
5. You may hear a Southerner say “Oughta!” to a dog or child. This is short for “Y’all oughta not do that!” and is the equivalent of saying “No!”
6. Don’t be worried about not understanding what people are saying; they can’t understand you, either.
7. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner’s vocabulary is the adjective “big ol’,” as in “big ol’ truck ” or “big ol’ boy.” Most Northerners begin their new Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
8. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
9. Be advised that “He needed killin'” is a valid defense here.
10. If you hear a Southerner exclaim “Hey, y’all, watch this,” stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he’ll ever say.
11. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn’t matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
12. When you come upon a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks here learn to drive on a John Deere, and that this is the proper speed and position for that vehicle.
(This was originally found on Aha! Jokes)