Tag Archives: Government

My business

A father walks into the market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is spinning a 25-cent piece in the air and catching it between his teeth. As they walk through the market someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his throat. He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face and Dad starts panicking, shouting and screaming for help.

A middle-aged, fairly unremarkable man in a gray suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion he looks up, puts his coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds his newspaper and places it on the counter. He gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way across the market. Reaching the boy (who is still standing, but only just) the man takes hold of the kid and squeezes gently but firmly. After a few seconds the boy coughs up the quarter, which the man catches in his free hand.

The man then walks back to his seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son was fine, the father rushes over to the man and starts effusively thanking him. The man looks embarrassed and brushes off the thanks. As he’s about to leave, the father asks one last question. "I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before – it was fantastic – what are you, a surgeon or something like that?"

"No" the man replies, "I work for the IRS, getting people to cough it up is my business."

(Editors note: bad joke but fitting for this time of year)

Only one complains

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily Newspaper in Starkville, MS and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.

The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."

Curtis replied, "well, then just give us our money back."

The farmer said, "Can’t do that. I went and spent it already."

Leroy said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."

The farmer asked, "What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?"

Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can’t raffle off a dead mule!"

Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don’t hafta tell nobody he’s dead!"

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.

"What’d you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"

Curtis said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.."

Leroy said, "Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898."

The farmer said, "My Lord, didn’t anyone complain?"

Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."

 

 

Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.

The New GM (Government Motors) Proudly Introduces The 2010 Obama!

This car runs on hot air and broken promises. It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns.It comes complete with two TelePrompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations. The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the “happy” owners.

Comes in S, M, L, XL and 2XL

It won’t get you to work, but not a problem, there aren’t any jobs anyway!

Montana Bear Tragedy

This is a very sad story about a bear.  Everybody should heed the warning to not feed wildlife because they become dependent and cannot forage for themselves anymore.
 
This is such a tragedy to see what they have done to our country’s wildlife!  

The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect  US wildlife  . . . .
 
 
   
Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democrat Party….. as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

This photo is of a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed . .. .

Bearack Obearma.