Category Archives: Politics

No beer for Republicans

A labor union rep walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama’s victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Repeal ObamaCare button and two beers in front of him.

He doesn’t have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican.”

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, “Thank you!” in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the union rep.

The union rep once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The union man once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The union man asks the bartender, “What the hell is the matter with that Republican? I’ve ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly ass does is smile and thanks me. Is he nuts?”

“Nope,” replies the bartender. “He owns this place.”

The best patients come from…

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from New York , says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered..”

The second, from Chicago , responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”

The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, “No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order”

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers… Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington DC, shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable.. “

Fourth marriage is the charm

A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day
and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her
fourth wedding.

“Of course, madam,” replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color
dress are you looking for?”

The bride to be said, “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, “Please don’t take this the
wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for
brides who are being married the first time – for those who are a bit more
innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?”

“Well,” replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness, “I
can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or
not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we
were checking into our honey moon hotel. My second husband and I got into
such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we
had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.”
“What about your third husband?” asked the sales clerk.

“That one was a Democrat,” said the woman, “and every night for four years,
he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be,
but nothing ever happened.”