Tag Archives: Bill Clinton
Making fun of Democrats
Obama’s first day in hell
One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got a couple of folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.”
Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
“No,” Obama said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer, and I don’t think I could do that all day long.”
The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
“No, this is no good; I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,” commented Obama.
The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Continue reading Obama’s first day in hell
A REPUBLICAN FINALLY ADMITS THE DEMOCRAT WAS RIGHT !
“You WERE right! I should have settled for a blow job!”
The recession has hit everybody really hard….
- My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
- Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
- CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
- A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
- I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
- If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
- McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
- Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
Continue reading The recession has hit everybody really hard….
Clinton v. Titanic
Students at a local high school were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by former President Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His professor gave him an A+ for this report:
Titanic: Cost – $29.99
Clinton: Cost – $29.99Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to readTitanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastropheTitanic: Jack is a starving artist
Clinton: Bill is a BS artist
Continue reading Clinton v. Titanic
World’s Shortest Books
THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
by Barack Obama
MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS
by Tiger Woods
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan
Illustrated by Michael Moore
MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson and Rev Al Sharpton
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton
Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman
THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
by Al Gore & John Kerry
AMELIA EARHART’S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J. Kevorkian
TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED, BEFORE ……
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O’Donnell
GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O. J. Simpson
HOW TO DRINK AND DRIVE SAFELY
by Ted Kennedy
MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton
with introduction
by the
Rev. Jesse Jackson
GREAT MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by George W. Bush
A GUIDE TO GUN SAFETY
by Dick Cheney
*******************************************************
AND, JUST ADDED:
My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy
by Nancy Pelosi