I am not sure what is funnier, the act or the comments coming from the couple that is filming the act.
Category Archives: Women
Unusual Menu
An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house.
As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
COLD BEER: $5.00
HAMBURGER: $10.00
CHEESEBURGER: $15.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $18.50
HAND JOB: $250.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers.
She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer.
“Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. “May I help you sir?”
The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers, “I was wondering young lady, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?”
She looks into his wrinkled eyes and with a wide smile purrs, “Yes sir, I sure am.”
The old golfer leans in even closer and into her left ear says softly, “Well then, be sure to wash your hands real good, because I want a cheeseburger.”
11 ways to start a fight
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift…
The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied,
“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started……
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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’
‘No,’ she answered.
I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started…
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I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started…..
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes”, she sighed,
“He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And then the fight started…
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point..
Dear Dr. Phil
Dear Dr. Phil,
I was watching my next door neighbor’s wife sun bathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was jerking off I turned to notice my wife just standing there, arms folded…watching me.
Is she a pervert?
Why girls don’t fart
Is a woman man’s best friend
WOMEN
A real woman is a man’s best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible.
No wait…Sorry.
I’m thinking of whiskey. It’s whiskey that does all that shit.
Never mind.
Fourth marriage is the charm
A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day
and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her
fourth wedding.
“Of course, madam,” replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color
dress are you looking for?”
The bride to be said, “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, “Please don’t take this the
wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for
brides who are being married the first time – for those who are a bit more
innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?”
“Well,” replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness, “I
can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or
not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we
were checking into our honey moon hotel. My second husband and I got into
such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we
had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.”
“What about your third husband?” asked the sales clerk.
“That one was a Democrat,” said the woman, “and every night for four years,
he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be,
but nothing ever happened.”
This woman has a strange ailment. Too bad it isn’t contagious.
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?”
“I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.”
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. “I have never heard of that condition before” he said. “Are you taking anything for it?”
Continue reading This woman has a strange ailment. Too bad it isn’t contagious.
Phone sex in the US
Best gay rights sign ever
