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Funny prom photos
It may be cruel to make fun of a prom photo. These are very impressionable young men and women. If this were a more caring and loving site, I would pass on showing these photos. Since the title of the site is Politically Incorrect though, I think I am safe!
I picked this up over at Oddee.com. Jump over there to see more!
It just wouldn’t be special without the family cat (that is the pet’s older cousin on the wall)! Continue reading Funny prom photos
Kind little girl
Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day.
‘Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint, and we’re Jewish,’ she asks, ‘Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?
Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says: ‘No, I don’t think God would get mad.. Whom do you want to give a Valentine to?’
‘Osama Bin Laden,’ she says. Continue reading Kind little girl
Because you just don’t want to pee on the tree
Found this on There, I Fixed It.
Exercise for People over 40
The older we get the more important it is to incorporate exercise into our daily routine. This is necessary to maintain cardiovascular health and maintain muscle mass.
If you’re over 40, you might want to take it easy at first, then do more repetitions as you become more proficient and build stamina.
Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program! Continue reading Exercise for People over 40
Catholic Dictionary – For Catholics Only
This information is for Catholics only. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.
| AMEN | The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. |
| BULLETIN | Your receipt for attending Mass. |
| CHOIR | A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync. |
| HOLY WATER | A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. |
| HYMN | A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range. |
| INCENSE | Holy Smoke! |
| JESUITS | An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams. |
| JONAH | The original ‘Jaws’ story. |
| JUSTICE | When kids have kids of their own. |
| KYRIE ELEISON |
The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (For you non-Catholics it means “Lord have mercy”.) |
| MAGI | The most famous trio to attend a baby shower. |
| MANGER | Where Mary placed Jesus because Joseph forgot the crib when packing the donkey. |
| PEW | A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches. |
| PROCESSION | The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats. |
| RECESSIONAL | The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot. |
| RECESSIONAL HYMN | The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left. |
| RELICS | People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. |
| STABLE | Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn’t covered by an HMO. (The Bible’s way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.) |
| TEN COMMANDMENTS | The most important Top Ten list not presented by David Letterman. |
| USHER | The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew. |
Sound it out
Obviously, this joke and variations of it have been around forever but I found this image at I Can Has Internets
Thanks to TheJoker for pointing this out to me.
Men strike back!
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told me….’
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
Q: Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
A: It’s called a Wedding Cake.
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
Tiger Woods has found a new sponsor
Gary Coleman jokes
Gary Coleman, former child star, has died at the age of 42. Doctors blame his death on complications from different strokes
Gary Coleman wastes no time getting up there to the Pearly Gates to meet St. Peter.
When he arrives St. Peter frowns and says, “well Gary there may be a few things here that we gotta have a little talk about first!”
Gary Coleman frowns and says, “What choo talkin’ bout Peter!”
Gary Coleman arrived at the pearly gates and he wasn’t let in right away. This wasn’t the first time little Gary was stuck behind bars.