Monthly Archives: August 2013
Making fun of Democrats
This woman has a strange ailment. Too bad it isn’t contagious.
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?”
“I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.”
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. “I have never heard of that condition before” he said. “Are you taking anything for it?”
Continue reading This woman has a strange ailment. Too bad it isn’t contagious.
Phone sex in the US
Texting a sweet thought
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones.
The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you.”
The husband texted back to her: “I’m on the toilet. Please advise.”
Texting a sweet thought
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones.
The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you.”
The husband texted back to her: “I’m on the toilet. Please advise.”
Thoughts on beer from 7 year old children
A handful of 7 year old children were asked, ‘what they thought of beer.’
Tim- ‘I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.’
Melanie – ‘Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.’
Grady – ‘My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties.’
Toby – ‘My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.’
Sarah – ‘My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn’t have too much.’
Lilly – ‘My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.’
Dear NASA
You probably shouldn’t wear American Eagle on picture day
How to spot a meth lab
