Jan 182014
 

A Canadian and an American were hunting in Canadian woods when a Mexican runs across the field and the Canadian shoots him and kills him.

“You can’t do that!” cried the American.

“No, no, it’s legal here in Canada” replies the Canadian.

Later that night the American goes and buys some beer and puts it on the roof of his truck to open the door. Just then a

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Jun 182013
 
  1. I’m living next door to a Lebanese couple at the moment. They have three little kids and they’ve challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I’m just writing to you while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil.
  2. Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – its ****ing hilarious.
  3. I’ve caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, “good morning you ugly prick?” It’s not yours is it?
  4. I’m sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful.
  5. Been to the optometrist today – he told me I was color blind. I’m ****in’ worried now that some of my buddies could be black. If you are, can you delete my e-mail address?
  6. There’s a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.
  7. I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, Mexicans and blacks is not the correct answer
Nov 022010
 

I’d just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said, ‘I’ve not eaten for two days’. I told him, ‘I wish I had your will power’


I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.. Apparently the instruction “finish off on her face” didn’t mean what I thought it did.


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Feb 222010
 

Q. What’s the Cuban National Anthem?

A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A. A different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?

A. Sum Ting Wong.

Q. What do you call an Italian that has one arm shorter than the other?

A. A speech impediment.

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