Tag Archives: Mexicans

Ethnic, Quickie

It isn’t legal to use bait in Canada

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A Canadian and an American were hunting in Canadian woods when a Mexican runs across the field and the Canadian shoots him and kills him.

“You can’t do that!” cried the American.

“No, no, it’s legal here in Canada” replies the Canadian.

Later that night the American goes and buys some beer and puts it on the roof of his truck to open the door. Just then a

Mexican runs by, grabs the beer, and runs away. The American thinks “No problem” and he shoots him and kills him. 

As he is getting his beer the police come and arrest him.
“But I thought it was legal to shoot Mexicans here in Canada!” protests the American.
“Well yeah, it is” says the cop, “but you can’t use bait.”

Ethnic, Quickie

7 quick jokes to offend almost everyone

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  1. I’m living next door to a Lebanese couple at the moment. They have three little kids and they’ve challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I’m just writing to you while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil.
  2. Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – its ****ing hilarious.
  3. I’ve caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, “good morning you ugly prick?” It’s not yours is it?
  4. I’m sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful.
  5. Been to the optometrist today – he told me I was color blind. I’m ****in’ worried now that some of my buddies could be black. If you are, can you delete my e-mail address?
  6. There’s a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.
  7. I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, Mexicans and blacks is not the correct answer
Ethnic, Quickie

A chance to offend almost everyone

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I’d just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said, ‘I’ve not eaten for two days’. I told him, ‘I wish I had your will power’

I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.. Apparently the instruction “finish off on her face” didn’t mean what I thought it did.

A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time, she said, “sorry about the wait”. I said, “don’t worry fatty, you’re bound to lose it eventually”.

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself “fat chance with a face like that”.

Top Tip: if you’re camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it’s so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it’s not necessarily an invitation for casual sex … wish me luck; I appear in court next Monday.

I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn’t matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and I always end up in bed with them … here’s how it goes “Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?”

Years ago it was suggested “that an apple a day kept the doctor away” … but since all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works
best!

I failed my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently “Mexicans” was not the correct answer.

Ethnic, Redneck

Jokes to offend everyone

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Q. What’s the Cuban National Anthem?

A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A. A different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?

A. Sum Ting Wong.

Q. What do you call an Italian that has one arm shorter than the other?

A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren’t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?

A. Because they’re not going to work in the future either.

Q. Why do Driver’s Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Monday, Wednesday and Friday?

A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What’s the difference between a northern zoo and a southern zoo?

A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the “F” word?

A. Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell “BINGO”.

Q. What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A. A northern fairytale begins: “Once upon a time …. ” A southern fairytale begins: “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this ….”

Q. Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?

A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.