I found this image at TumblFrog
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Mexican summer Olympic team
Mexico doesn’t have a summer Olympic team, because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already across the border.
Famous athlete drinks
The most famous drink named after a professional athlete is the “Arnold Palmer”. It is half unsweetened iced tea, half lemonade. It is named for the golfer whose love of the concoction made it popular.
But are any other drinks named for athletes? Yes. Many, in fact. And unlike an Arnold Palmer, they’re all alcoholic drinks.
Consider trying all 14 for your next party!
JOHN DALY
Directions: Pour 14 cans of Busch Light into a bucket. Garnish with chicken wings.
BEN ROETHLISBERGER
Directions: Make a Sex On The Beach. Chase with a vigorous legal defense.
ALEXANDER OVECHKIN
Directions:Add one completely unnecessary shot of vodka to any drink.
TIM TEBOW
Directions: Fill a pint glass with vodka. Set aside for sterilization of circumcisions. Now pour glass of ice water and serve.
JOHN CALIPARI
Directions: Fill a champagne flute with champagne. Now vacate the champagne and sell the flute to the highest bidder.
LANE KIFFIN
Directions: Start making a martini. But quickly throw that out and make a margarita instead.
Brave firemen
A fire starts inside a chemical plant and the alarm goes out to fire departments miles around. After crews have been fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, “All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $100,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!”
The crews try, but no one can get through. Then another fire truck, filled with a volunteer fire company of men over 65, comes roaring down the road and drives straight into the middle of the inferno. The other men watch unbelieving as the old timers hop off of their rig and heroically extinguish the fire, saving the secret formulas.
The company president walks over to reward the volunteers.
“What do you guys plan to do with the money?” the president asks the group.
The firetruck driver looks him right in the eye and answers, “Well, the first thing we’re going to do is fix the fucking brakes on that truck.”
Shop Vac song
This isn’t really that funny but it is really well done and it is a pleasure to watch.
No training wheels for unicycle
Poor kid. I sure hope he can have his own kids some day.
I found this image at Awkward Family Photos.
Head stones from stars not currently dead
A pirate at the bar
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”
“What do you mean?” said the pirate. “I feel fine.”
Bartender: “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
Pirate: “Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”
Bartender: “Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?”
Pirate: “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I am fine, really.”
Bartender: “What about that eye patch?”
Pirate: “Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye.”
“You’re kidding,” said the bartender, “You lost an eye just from bird shit?”
One of the worst commercials ever
The only reason that this is funny is because it is so bad. I would bet their revenue went down after this commercial aired.
Facebook screwup
I found this image on Lamebook.