There was a small phone company in Wisconsin many years ago that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers, and the boss had to choose between a team of two Norwegian guys and a team of two Polish guys.
So the boss met with both teams and said, “Here’s what we’ll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day. The team that installs the most phone poles gets the job.”
Both teams headed right out. At end of the shift the Norwegian guys, came back, and the boss asked them how many they had installed.
They said that it was tough going, but they’d put in twelve.
Forty-five minutes later the Polish guys came back in, and they were totally exhausted.
The boss asked, “Well, how many poles did you guys install?” the team leader, wiped his brow and sighed, “Tosh and me, we got three in.”
The boss gasped, “Three? Those two Norwegian guys put in twelve!”
“Yeah,” said Tosh, “but you should see how much they left stickin’ out of the ground.”
There’s a saying my Polish grandmother used to say when her children used the phrase, “If only…” Roughly translated, it’s “If your grandmother had them, she’d be your grandfather.”