Not really that funny but it was fun to look at.
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Beer opening contest
Deer hunt
Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.
Ron’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
“Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?”
“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, ‘Guess who?'” I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, “Do whatever you want.”
So, here I am.
Funny images
I found these images over at failblog.org. Here are a few of my favorites but you can jump over to their site and laugh about more.
Do you really want to advertise this?
I am sure there are many men that would like to help this situation. Continue reading Funny images
Putting Your Affairs In Order
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, “I’ve got some bad news. You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order…”
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
“Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t well. I have cancer. So, let’s head to the club and have a martini.”
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman’s old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, “I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS .”
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman’s daughter leaned over and whispered, “Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?”
“Because I don’t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I’m gone.”
And THAT, my friends, is what is called, “Putting Your Affairs In Order.”
Finding the perfect girl
Don’t trust management
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY…
Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected
Trivia question
Well, I lost the Trivia Contest at our country club last night by 1 point.
Not only got the last question wrong, but was immediately asked to leave.
The question was: “Where do women have the curliest hair?”
Apparently the correct answer is Fiji.
Good to the last drop
A 98-year old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered
around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried
giving her some warm milk to drink but she refused it.
One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and remembering a
bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she
opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother
drank a little then a little more. Before they knew it she had drank
the whole glass down to the last drop.
“Mother,” the nuns asked with earnest, “please give us some
wisdom before you die.”
She raised herself up in the bed and whispered, “Don’t sell that
cow.”