Tag Archives: mosquitoes

You know your from Manitoba, Canada, when….

1. You only know three spices – salt, pepper and ketchup.

2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.

4. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.

6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.

8. You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

10. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

11. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.

12. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

13. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

14. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.

15. You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.

16. You head south to go to your cottage.

17. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won’t prowl on your deck.

18. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

19. The major parish fund-raiser isn’t bingo – it’s sausage making.

20. You find -40C a little chilly.

21. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

22. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.

23. You can play road hockey on skates.

24. You know 4 seasons – Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.

25. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

(This was originally found on Aha! Jokes)

EVER WONDER ……

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

**************
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

**************
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

**************
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

**************
Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?

**************
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

**************
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

**************
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

**************
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

**************
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

**************
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

**************
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

**************
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

**************
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

**************
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

**************
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?