Tag Archives: school

Dear Blank, please blank

Dear Osama Bin Laden,

Marco…

Sincerely, United States.


Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely, 1985.


Dear Voldemort,

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson.


Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely, Logic.


Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic.


Dear Yahoo,

I’ve never heard anyone say, "I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…" just saying…

Sincerely, Google.


Dear High School Boys,

Your penis is not like Pinocchio’s nose – it doesn’t get longer every time you lie about its size.

Sincerely, Reality.


Dear Dumbasses,

Please pull your damn pants up. This style should have died when it started in 1993. Get a job too.

Sincerely, Taxpayer tired of supporting you and your stupid 5 illegitimate children.

 

I found these at dearblankpleaseblank.com. There are many more so check it out!

Johnny before Christmas break

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today.”

Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.”

Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.”

Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.”

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: “Who said ‘I Have a Dream’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, “Martin Luther King.”

Teacher: “That’s right Mary, you can go.”

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?”

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, “John F. Kennedy.”

Teacher: “That’s right Nancy , you may also leave.”

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, “I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!”

The teacher turns around: “NOW WHO SAID THAT?”

Johnny: “TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?”

Handsome

A teacher at a Birmingham, AL, high school asks a girl to use “handsome” in a sentence.

The girl named Lateshia says “Sometimes when I be suckin’ Jamal’s black cock, my jaw gets sore and I hafta use my handsome.”

The quality of our educational system sometimes brings a tear to your eye!!!

Johnny can’t sit still at school

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office.. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

‘I thought I told you to call your mom!’ she said.

‘I did,’ he said, ‘and she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she’d come and pick me up from school.’