Tag Archives: Heaven

Two brothers in the afterlife

Once  upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very mischievous, always getting into trouble. The other brother, however, was very good. He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life…..

As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch but were never close.  The evil brother became a heavy drinker and a womanizer.  The other brother was a devoted husband and father and supported many charities.

One day the evil brother died. Then, after a few years, the good brother passed away. He went to heaven and was rewarded with a happy afterlife.

One day he went to God and asked, "Where is my brother? He died before me, but I have not seen him here in heaven."

God  replied, "As you know, your brother led an evil life, so he is not spending eternity here in heaven. He has been sent elsewhere ."

I’m sorry to hear that", the good brother replied. "But I do miss him and wish I could see him again."

"You can see him if you wish," God said.  "I will give you the power to gaze into hell."

So the power was granted and the good brother gazed into hell. Before long he saw his brother sitting on a bench. In one arm he held a keg of beer, and in the other he cradled a gorgeous young blonde.

The good brother turned to God and said, "I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I have found my brother, and he has a keg of beer in one arm and a beautiful woman in the other. Surely, hell can not be that bad."

God explained. "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it. The blonde doesn’t."

Jewish pilgrimage

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture. When the son returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity. “

Oy vey,” said the father. “What have I done?” 

He took his problem to his best friend. “Ike,” he said, “I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. What can I do?”

“Funny you should ask,” said Ike. “I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi.”

So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi. “Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi. “I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. What is happening to our young people?”

And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons. As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens:

“Funny you should ask,” said the voice “I, too, sent my Son to Israel……

Tiger & the Pope

The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to Hell and Tiger Woods went to Heaven.

The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in Hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error.

“However”, the clerk explains, “it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified”.

Next day the Pope is called and Hell’s staff bids him farewell.

On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from Heaven and they stop to have a chat.

“Sorry about the mix up”, apologizes the Pope.

“No problem” replied Tiger Woods.

Pope: “I am really anxious to get to Heaven”

Tiger: “Why is that?”

Pope: “All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary”

Tiger: “You’re a day late.”