Dec 112011
 
  1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
  2. Cats look silly on a leash.
  3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.
  4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born
  5. A dog knows when you’re sad. And he’ll try to comfort you. Cats don’t care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.
  6. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.
  7. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won’t go at all.
  8. Dogs will come when you call them. And they’ll be happy. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.
  9. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they’re in pain.
  10. Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
 Posted by at 10:09 am  Tagged with: ,
Jan 292011
 

Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1961 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2011 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1961 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2011 – Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario:
Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1961 – Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2011 – Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

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