Category Archives: Ethnic

This is your Captain speaking

It doesn’t get any more politically incorrect than this……
 
 
A twin-engine passenger plane has an engine failure and the altitude and speed are decreasing rapidly.
 
The pilot speaks over the intercom, “I’m sorry it has come to this ladies and gentlemen, but unfortunately we are going to have to jettison the luggage in order for the aircraft to remain airborne”.
 
Baggage is thrown out but still the plane’s speed continues to decrease.
 
Once again the pilot gets on the intercom, “I hate to do this folks but in order to save the majority we are going to have to start off-loading some passengers. The only fair way is to do this is alphabetically, so we’ll start with the letter ‘A'”.
 
“Africans? Are there any Africans on board?”
 
There was no answer so the pilot calls, B – “Black people, are there any black people on board?”
 
Again silence.
 
“C – coloured people? Are there any coloured people on board?
 
Still there is silence.
 
Continue reading This is your Captain speaking

7 quick jokes to offend almost everyone

  1. I’m living next door to a Lebanese couple at the moment. They have three little kids and they’ve challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I’m just writing to you while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil.
  2. Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – its ****ing hilarious.
  3. I’ve caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, “good morning you ugly prick?” It’s not yours is it?
  4. I’m sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful.
  5. Been to the optometrist today – he told me I was color blind. I’m ****in’ worried now that some of my buddies could be black. If you are, can you delete my e-mail address?
  6. There’s a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.
  7. I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, Mexicans and blacks is not the correct answer

5 pearls of Scottish Wisdom

Found this on a bulletin board.  Just so you don’t need to open the image, I am retyping them for your enjoyment.

  1. Money cannot buy happiness but somehow, its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than it is on a bicycle.
  2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.
  3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
  4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
  5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.

Here is the image from the bulletin board:

Continue reading 5 pearls of Scottish Wisdom

Math test

Schools are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can use in real-life situations.

NAME ____________________

GANG/CREW NAME ______________

CRIB _________________

1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shootin.  How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive- by, before he gotta reload?

2. Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine.  If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?

Continue reading Math test

3 nude men on a bench

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.

Continue reading 3 nude men on a bench

May I own a Canadian?

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Continue reading May I own a Canadian?

Arab father instructs his son

A young Arab asks his father, “What is that weird hat you are wearing?”

The father said, “Why, it’s a ‘chechia’ because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun.”

“And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?” asked the young man.

“It’s a ‘djbellah’ because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body.” said the father.

The son asked, “And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?

His father replied, “These are ‘babouches”, which keep us from burning our feet in the desert.”

“So tell me then,” added the boy.

“Yes, my son?”

Continue reading Arab father instructs his son