Apr 162012
 
  • My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
  • Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
  • CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
  • -Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
  • A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
  • I saw a with only one wife.
  • If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
  • McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
  • adopted a child from America.
  • Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

  • My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it and they re-possessed her!
  • A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
  • A picture is now only worth 200 words.
  • When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
  • The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates; and

 

  • I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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