12 Cynical Meanings (good for funny tweets)

  1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
  2. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
  3. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either."
  4. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  5. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  6. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power…
  7. Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
  8. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
  9. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
  10. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  11. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  12. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

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