Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man’s heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry. He gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally.
Did you ever wonder why?
Popularity: 2% [?]
Tags: leatherDec 192011
A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow, he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew. He finally made his way to a side aisle and into a confessional.
A priest had been observing the man’s sorry progress. Figuring the fellow was in need of some assistance, he proceeded to enter his side of the confessional. His attention was rewarded only by a lengthy silence.
Finally he asked, "May I help you, my son?"
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: confession, drunk, priestDec 182011
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack’s station-wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.
"I’m recently widowed," she explained, "and I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Not to worry," Jack said, "we’ll be happy to sleep in the barn."
Nine months later, Jack got a letter from the widow’s attorney. He called up his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"
"Yes, I do."
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and visit with her?"
"Yes, I have to admit that I did."
"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: farm, widowDec 172011
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.
She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs … enough times ‘til her husband says… "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.
Popularity: 2% [?]
Tags: pantiesDec 162011
Dec 152011
The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing ‘Father’s Details,’ or putting it another way… Who’s your baby’s Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out #11, it takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up.
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.
2… I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks…
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: conception
Dec 132011
Dec 122011
- Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
- Cats look silly on a leash.
- When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.
- Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born
- A dog knows when you’re sad. And he’ll try to comfort you. Cats don’t care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.
- Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.
- When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won’t go at all.
- Dogs will come when you call them. And they’ll be happy. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.
- Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they’re in pain.
- Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
Popularity: 2% [?]
Tags: cat, dog
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