Paraprosdokians

A is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence/phrase is unexpected, which causes the reader or listener to reinterpret the first part. For example:

  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it is still on my list.
  • If I agreed with you, we would both be wrong.
  • We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
  • War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
  • I asked God for a bike but I know He does not work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • The evening news usually begins with “Good evening” and then someone tells you why it isn’t.
  • To steal an idea from one person is plagiarism; to steal ideas from many people is research.
  • How can one careless match start a forest fire when it takes an entire box of matches to start a campfire?
  • Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity they can train people to stand on the edge of a pool and throw them fish.
  • I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
  • Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  • You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  • You are never too old to learn something stupid.

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