Feb 272011
 

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of  you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.

"Mr. Barnes, it’s obviously not a good morning for golf. It’s good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

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Feb 262011
 

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee outside an  Arizona immigration office.

"Good man," the fairy said, "I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the  United States with your wife and eight children."

The man told the fairy,  "Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."

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Feb 202011
 

Your car is Japanese.

Your Vodka is Russian.

Your pizza is Italian.

Your kebab is Turkish.

Your democracy is Greek.

Your coffee is Brazilian.

Your movies are American.

Your Beers are German.

Your shirt is Indian.

Your oil is Saudi Arabian.

Your electronics are Chinese.

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Feb 192011
 

A police officer stops a man on the highway. The man says “Did you stop me for speeding?”

The officer replies “Yes, I stopped you for speeding”

The man replies “Well I have a gun in my glove compartment, and have a dead body in my trunk”

The officer pulls back and calls for back up and waits. Minute’s later back up arrives. The second officer says “My partner says you had a dead body in the trunk and a gun is the glove compartment.”

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Feb 152011
 

Daughter : ” Hey Mom. Me and my boyfriend are just going to my room. ”
Mom : ” OK. Don’t do anything stupid ”
Mom hears her daughter screaming ”BAABBY BAABBY BAABBYY OOHHHH” !!
Mom rushes up stairs
Mom : ”What are you doing !!?!??!!”
Daughter : ”Get out mom, we are having sex!!.”
Mom : ”OHH!! Thank God! I thought you were listening to Justin Bieber.”