Not a white man was lurking, all present were splib.
With mom out there hooking and dad in the slam,
I just settled down with some collards and ham.
The house was just freezin and covered with snow,
as my brother pulled up in a care he dun stole.
Grandma was boozin with stoli and jack,
while two brothers in the corner were smokin some crack.
When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,
A headache was forming from the old lady’s chatter.
His sleigh hit the roof, it came to a stop,
three more feet, a fifty foot drop.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment the fucker had fell.
He came out the fireplace, his beard full of ash.
He went through our pockets, he looded our cash.
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
The preacher was preaching and counting the dough,
one brother was bitchin and smackin his hoe.
They scarffed down some chicken, deep fried in some grease,
as leroy stood guard, one hand on his piece.
he flew off the roof and climbed out of sight,
he wished everyone a special good night.